Fleet Marine Life #58 – Eyedrops
The comic above is a true story. I knew that Navy doc (Corpsman). He looked and talked like the sloth from the Ice Age Movie. He was fairly apathetic toward everyone’s problems.
SSGT : Doc, we need you! This one guy has some shit in his eye.
Doc : Well… What do you want me to do?
SSGT : You’re the fucking doc!
I remember I had this sudden fever one day. I felt dizzy and I could barely walk and my body felt cold. I was scared that I might have Malaria because I never took those weird blue pills that were issued to me. Why? Because the government has a fun history of using US soldiers as guinea pigs.
http://www.publichealth.va.gov/exposures/gulfwar/pyrid_bromide.asp
I tried waking him up to check out my fever. He wouldn’t wake up so I just passed out on the floor next to him in the GP tent. I knew he was pretending to sleep so that he didn’t have to check me out. I woke up still feeling like shit. I stumbled everywhere until I found him. He took my temperature and read the theromometer as 100 degrees Fareinheit. Normal human body temperature is 98.6. He told me to stop being a bitch and gave me some Motrin. Always with the Motrin. I still felt like shit for the rest of the day.
Getting permanent lazy eyes since 1775.
Oh yeah, the docs gave me motrin and told me to drink water, that is until Balboa diagnosed me.
Remember how I said I had blood poisoning? It was caused by an abcess, and the docs couldn’t figure out what is was initially, so they sent me to the naval hospital and they said it was a simple bruise, just really big. Well, turned out to be a pocket of fluids and bacteria that was poisoning my entire bloodstream. Finally, when I was at 104.9 degrees and pale as death, they sent me to Balboa and they figured it out. The doctors at Balboa gave me 3 days to live (no shit) if I hadn’t been diagnosed.
That’s pretty fucking scary.
Haha, they always fail to deliver!