Fleet Marine Life

Whenever I lend Marines a twenty or $40 or whatever, they ask nicely and I expect them to pay me back seeing how we all get guaranteed government paychecks every 1st and 15th of every month. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

Usually the Marine is someone from my unit and they’ll ask for a small amount of money because “they forgot their wallet” or some shit and they’ll pay me back tomorrow or the next payday. The conversation typically goes like this:

Marine : Hey, man! I left my wallet back at the barracks. Silly, me. I was wondering if you could spot me a twenty.
K : Umm… Sure… Just get me back soon.
Marine : Sure, man! Thanks, I’ll get you back.

And then on the next day or next payday the conversation usually goes like this:

K : Hey, you got my money?
Marine : Yeah, here you go.
K : Thanks.
Marine : No, thank you!
K : No problem, man.

I’m just kidding, it never goes like that. Normally, it goes something like this:

K : Hey, you got my money?
Marine : What the hell, K? I don’t have “insert excuse here”! “Insert curse word”! Look. I’ll get you back on the next payday! Stop being a fucking dick, you “insert combination of curse words.” GOD!

The Marine I lent money to usually treats me like I owe him money! Either like that or like I’m the devil himself coming to collect his soul!

Normally this goes on until I bug them enough which is a pain in the ass. I try to help Marines out but it usually backfires horribly. If you’re going to loan another Marine money, get collateral. There is no reason you should be borrowing money with guaranteed government pay checks. Chances are that Marine hasn’t watched the “Don’t spend money you don’t have” video.

Lending other Marines money since 1775.